It’s the Fourth of July, a day to be spent quietly assembling food for our friends. It is noon and it’s time for a break. Suzen and I do parties in stages, over days. Trying to feed twenty people all in one day is impossible for us.
My daughter explains that it might be harder for us because we are getting older. I tell my daughter that she might be getting older, but I am not. No, I think the effort we feel stems from the quality of our table. We want everything to be perfect, so we just deal with one dish at a time. As long as it takes.
Twenty people? That’s two days of advance work, some morning final touches, this rest, and then final assembly in the afternoon. It’s hot outside, steamy white clouds bounce over us, and there is a threat of thunderstorms. We’re prepared. We can eat inside or out.
For now, I’m sitting in my porch chair watching those winds, that push the clouds, also animating the bed of ferns before me.
I have a thing about ferns. Most men do. Most of us wanted to be Indiana Jones when we were kids. Or, if we are old enough to remember him: Roy Chapman Andrews. When I was kid, I wanted to be Roy. He wore a ranger hat, carried a revolver and he hunted dinosaur fossils in Mongolia. [Rumor has that, at least indirectly, Andrews was the model for Indiana Jones].
Andrews had a glamorous life and there were plenty of books about his exploits when I was kid. What a lot of people did not know about this man, who became the Director of the American Museum of Natural History in New York City, was the path that took him there. He was born not rich in Beloit, Wisconsin, 1884 and had early jobs as a taxidermist. He put himself through college and moved to New York City to start work at the museum. They had not offered him a job. He just moved to New York and showed one morning, ready for work. That first job was washing the floors, because that’s the only job they would hire him for.
After a few decades, many successes, countless adventures and few brushes with danger — pythons, Mongolian bandits, …— he was the Director.
The wind is kicking up. The ferns are swaying. I have the thing about ferns because I wanted to dig up dinosaur bones and when dinosaurs lived there were lots of ferns. That’s a rumor, too, but one supported by fossils, including many found by Andrews.
The first fern fossils are 360 million years old. The first dinosaurs did not appear for another 120 million years, or 240 million years ago. Then, after a mere 180 million years, that meteor hit the earth and the dinosaurs vanished. The ferns remain.
There are a dozen varieties of ferns on my few acres. They can grow in the most ungodly places, ones that are stone covered with barely an inch of soil. I know, if I say “fern” you react by thinking of some tropical paradise. But ferns are ubiquitous and can be found high in mountains or in harsh deserts. They thrive in marginal areas where flowering plants would struggle.
As you might pamper a cat or a dog, my ferns in this picture are well tended. They live in a foot of rich soil, I groom them, I fertilize, I water. And each year they come back to blow in the wind, give me peace, while I wonder what it would have been like to track real dinosaurs in fern-filled forests a hundred million years ago. I’m not Indiana Jones or Roy Chapman Andrews. But I can imagine.
Suzen beckons. The party nears. I rise. The ferns are content to remain.
You can say that it doesn’t matter. No matter how you do it, it will be fine.
Sure, and Hell did freeze over.
I did a google on “meat loaf sandwiches.” I happen to love them and actually, like many people, prefer the sandwiches the next day to the freshly made meat loaf out of the oven. You find, in this search, that there is diversity and passion. And some pretty strong opinions. It’s not that a meat loaf sandwich “can be …” It’s more like “it must have…” Or else.
Someone wanted just meatloaf on white bread. Period. Nothing more, because if the meat loaf cannot carry the load on its own, then the meatloaf is … Well, they used a four-letter word here. Nasty.
There’s the guy in Texas who says it has to be on Texas toast with gravy. And kimchi. Now, I think it is a fair bet that individual is a software guru, first generation, whose parents came from South Korea. That is not a derogatory statement, just an observation on the demographics of our world.
To begin with, what should the meatloaf be made of. People espouse the benefits of bison and turkey. Me? Well, I depend on Suzen and her secret, magic, marvelous combination of ground pork, beef and veal.
What should the bread be? Oh, how intense life can be. There are calls for white bread, rye, pumpernickel, onion rolls, focaccia, Kaiser roll, or just anything with grain.
Upon the bread, mayonnaise wins the plurality, but people do surprise with asking for butter. There’s chipotle and chipotle mayo. Ketchup, of course, and horseradish sauce. Next to mayo though, the advocates for gravy are loud and cannot be ignored without personal risk.
Pickles are demanded by perhaps half the respondents. Mostly on top, but some just want their dill spears on the side. Jalapeno peppers, sweet ones like in the pictures, are my favorite addition. Yes, that picture shows that red and green peppers have been added to the meat loaf itself.
Onions? Always a fight. In the meat loaf or out? On top of the mayo or ketchup or not.
Every combination imaginable is someone’s favorite. That means you cannot go wrong for yourself, but tread carefully when dining with friends. I suggest a large table, everything spread out, and plenty of knives. For spreading, not arguing.
Oh, if I am coming and you are putting up the table, you better have jalapenos there. Can’t be a meat loaf sandwich without jalapenos. Everybody knows that.